# Get real: How to be your authentic self at work Author: Pal Sinha, Barnali Author URL: https://financedigest.com/author/pal-sinha-barnali Published: 2022-06-30 Category: LIFESTYLE Category URL: https://financedigest.com/category/lifestyle Meta Title: How to Be an Authentic Leader in a Post-Covid World Meta Description: Discover why being an authentic leader is crucial in today's world and how prioritising authenticity can enhance your leadership skills. URL: https://financedigest.com/get-real-how-to-be-your-authentic-self-at-workhtml ![undefined](https://prod.superblogcdn.com/site_cuid_cm5qst7v3003gwirgwqtxn8i8/images/istock-637152194-1736815607725-compressed.jpg) ![](https://prod.superblogcdn.com/site_cuid_cm5qst7v3003gwirgwqtxn8i8/images/rebecca-hourston-450x396-1736815607656-compressed.jpg) _By_ **_Rebecca Hourston,_** _Women’s Leadership Coach and Managing Director at_ [_Talking Talent_](http://www.talking-talent.com/) **_[Authentic leaders](https://www.financedigest.com/allowing-yourself-time-to-grow-as-a-leader-consciously-will-enable-you-to-support-your-team-authentically.html "Allowing yourself time to grow as a leader, consciously, will enable you to support your team authentically") are needed now more than ever. Here’s how to actively work at being one._** Let me be frank: Of all the things that I know I should be doing to become a better leader, working on being more authentic is right at the bottom of the list. I’ll be honest: It doesn’t even make the list. And it’s not because I don’t value authenticity. Yet, a [post-Covid world](https://www.financedigest.com/financial-tech-what-will-stick-in-a-post-covid-world.html "Financial tech: what will stick in a post-COVID world?") calls for more authentic and transparent leadership. And research continues to stress the primary importance of authenticity, with Harvard Business Review declaring “Authenticity as the gold standard for leadership.” I’m an honest, genuine person. So do I really need to prioritise [– above all else –  working](https://www.financedigest.com/the-flexible-working-revolution-is-here-so-why-arent-you-tracking-expenses-on-the-go.html "‘The flexible working revolution is here – so why aren’t you tracking expenses on the go?’") at being ‘more real’? And is being ‘more authentic’ as important as being more inspiring, or a better public speaker, or developing the [thousand other skills that would make me better at my job](https://www.financedigest.com/royal-mail-warns-of-thousands-of-job-cuts-as-it-slides-into-red.html "Royal Mail warns of thousands of job cuts as it slides into red")? Obviously not. Or so I thought–until I started unpacking what ‘authenticity’ truly means. “Be yourself.” **But which self?** Imagine: the self you wake up as, the one who (usually) hits the snooze button and grumbles on the [way to work; would that self be welcome at a job interview](https://www.financedigest.com/five-ways-to-embrace-hybrid-working.html "Five Ways to Embrace Hybrid-Working")? Is the self skilled at entertaining children with nonsense for hours while covered in jam helpful during a high-profile presentation? ‘Be authentic’, much like ‘be yourself’, sounds like simple advice. But it also suggests that you have one true self, and that any self-editing or tailoring of your presentation is a deception. This is a problem, and as psychologist Carol Dweck has shown, the idea that you have one fixed and unalterable [self can interfere with both personal and professional growth](https://www.financedigest.com/self-adhesive-vinyl-films-market-reflect-impressive-growth-rate-to-during-2027.html "Self-adhesive Vinyl Films Market Reflect Impressive Growth Rate to During  2027"). Clinging to a single fixed and immovable self, for example, might make it difficult to interact with new people, or learn from [important experiences](https://www.financedigest.com/the-importance-and-growth-of-banking-ecosystems-to-create-superior-customer-experiences-and-value.html "The importance and growth of banking ecosystems to create superior customer experiences and value"). That being said, your original, unedited self is wonderful, and the ability to disclose your hopes and fears in some scenarios, and feel accepted, is a crucial [part of life](https://www.financedigest.com/factbox-from-spreads-to-shampoo-palm-oil-is-part-of-everyday-life.html "Factbox – From spreads to shampoo, palm oil is part of everyday life"). But if somebody asked for advice before a corporate job interview, would you suggest that they walk in and tell their funniest story? Of course not. You might say: ‘Tell them what they want to hear’, or, ‘Show yourself as the ideal candidate for the job.’ Does either piece of advice encourage ‘authentic’ behaviour? Not exactly, but neither piece of advice encourages ‘false’ or dishonest behaviour either. Telling someone to make something up in a job interview would be exceptionally poor advice. Telling someone to foreground relevant experience and omit embarrassing childhood stories is common sense. The unadulterated truth is not always appropriate or helpful and may not show you in the best light. Being aware of this doesn’t make you less authentic. How you choose to present yourself in your professional life is a personal choice, as well as an expression of personality. **Self Monitoring** Psychologist Mark Snyder identified two psychological profiles that determine the [development of leaders’](https://www.financedigest.com/how-leaders-can-develop-their-business-intuition.html "How Leaders Can Develop Their Business Intuition") personal styles, and in a sense, their measure of authenticity. The “high self-monitors”: these people adapt to social cues constantly, adjusting their mode of self-expression without feeling fake. The “low self-monitors”: these [people say](https://www.financedigest.com/britain-says-6000-more-people-needed-for-trial-of-merck-covid-pill.html "Britain says 6,000 more people needed for trial of Merck COVID pill") what they think and feel at all times. Their internal states inform their behaviour regardless of external circumstances. Low self-monitors might see high self-monitors as fake or phony. High self-monitors might retaliate by judging low self-monitors as immature, or self-indulgent. Neither judgement is fair, particularly because to judge either profile affects how we [approach the question of authenticity for women](https://www.financedigest.com/the-us-womens-lingerie-and-mens-underwear-market-to-be-driven-by-the-non-stoical-approach.html "The Us Womens Lingerie And Mens Underwear Market To Be Driven By The Non-Stoical Approach"). Women are more likely to be low self-monitors than men, which is problematic as research shows that high self-monitors receive significantly higher evaluations and more [opportunities for leadership progression](https://www.financedigest.com/global-lycopene-market-outlook-business-challenges-investment-opportunities-progression-status-revenue-expectation-and-forecast-2022-2029.html "Global Lycopene Market Outlook Business Challenges, Investment Opportunities, Progression Status, Revenue Expectation and Forecast 2022-2029"). **So why does it happen?** Women receive more (and more insistent) social cues about how we should behave. We face stronger cultural pressures than men, and often feel pressurised to adapt our ways of speaking, our leadership styles, and the way in which we interact with other people. In order to succeed in male dominated environments, too many [women are still told to behave more like men](https://www.financedigest.com/the-us-mens-underwear-and-womens-lingerie-market-to-scintillate-based-on-the-influx-of-offbeat-ideas.html "The Us Mens Underwear And Womens Lingerie Market To Scintillate Based On The Influx Of Offbeat Ideas"). As humans, we measure ourselves against external circumstances, and when we are told that we don’t fit in, we are likely to interpret this as not being ‘good enough.’ Given the frequency with which women receive this message, it’s no surprise that after assessing the criteria for success, we force ourselves to adapt. However, when you try and change who you are, you risk losing the most important part of your authentic self: your values. If you deny your most important beliefs then you will inevitably limit your potential [power and influence](https://www.financedigest.com/new-research-from-impact-com-shows-shifting-power-dynamic-that-puts-influencers-at-the-centre-of-the-brand-consumer-relationship.html "New Research from impact.com Shows Shifting Power Dynamic that Puts Influencers at the Centre of the Brand-Consumer Relationship"). There’s a balance to be struck here–between being able to adapt to circumstances, and remaining true to yourself at your core. **Be your best self** Authenticity is appealing because we all like being reminded that nobody is perfect. In the UK, we’re notorious for bonding through self-depreciating humour and solidarity. Experts such as Professor Gareth Jones even advise selectively revealing weaknesses in order to connect with people. Brené Brown, founder and CEO of The Daring Way, and creator of one of the [top five most viewed TED talks in the world](https://www.financedigest.com/top-5-restaurants-in-the-world.html "Top 5 restaurants in the world"), ‘The Power of Vulnerability’, defines authenticity as ‘the choice to let our true selves be seen.’ We all have a best self, and we all have a worst self. Choosing not to parade your most grumpy, insecure, critical self in pyjamas in public [doesn’t mean](https://www.financedigest.com/making-sure-that-finservs-digital-transformation-doesnt-mean-digital-exclusion.html "Making sure that FinServ’s digital transformation doesn’t mean digital exclusion") that you lack authenticity. It means that you’re a grown up. Authenticity is about ‘not being fake’–trying to become more like others isn’t a good idea because you will either end up a second-rate version of someone else, or in trying to emulate someone else, you will end up as an impoverished version of yourself. The truth: being yourself is always enough. But if you’ve ever chaired a panel discussion as your grumpy, pre-caffeinated, bed-headed self then you’ll probably agree that although you are always enough, sometimes you can do better. **Behave as your best self** I’ve heard the word ‘authentic’ attached to: a relationship, an accent, a cup of coffee, a ‘real Italian’ pizza, a pair of jeans, a teenage girl dying her hair grey, and a ‘wellness experience.’ And it extends to the office; even more so since the [global pandemic](https://www.financedigest.com/outbreak-of-the-covid-19-pandemic-is-expected-to-severely-affect-the-global-packaging-and-labelling-services-market.html "Outbreak of The COVID-19 Pandemic is Expected To Severely Affect The Global Packaging And Labelling Services Market "), as we’ve had a chance to experience our leaders in a new light. Being ‘authentic’ has been a buzz term since Bill George’s book Authentic [Leadership](https://www.financedigest.com/chinas-xi-clinches-third-term-packs-leadership-with-loyalists.html "China’s Xi clinches third term, packs leadership with loyalists") popularised the term in 2003. At Harvard Business school, [executive courses in ‘authentic leadership development’ are severely oversubscribed and expanding](https://www.financedigest.com/zivver-expands-leadership-team-names-three-new-c-level-executives.html "Zivver Expands Leadership Team, Names Three New C-level Executives") every year. When we’re using the same word to talk about pizza, piercings, and great leaders, it’s easy to forget to think about what the word really means. Oprah’s now famous quip (“I had no [idea that being your authentic self](https://www.financedigest.com/self-employed-business-ideas-how-to-find-one-that-is-right-for-you.html "Self-Employed Business Ideas – How to Find One That is Right For You") could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier”) makes it sound as if her authenticity is the sole reason for her success, and of course it isn’t. We probably wouldn’t admire Oprah’s authenticity so much if it wasn’t [supported by her experience](https://www.financedigest.com/adverty-releases-unity-sdk-4-0-with-2d-games-support-and-a-refreshed-suite-of-high-quality-ad-assets-for-the-ultimate-in-game-advertising-experience.html "Adverty releases Unity SDK 4.0, with 2D games support and a refreshed suite of high-quality ad assets for the ultimate in-game advertising experience"), knowledge, confidence, and empathy. Authenticity is not a static state you can achieve and then cash in on; it is always a work in progress. If you want to be authentic, you have to commit to the [process of becoming your best self](https://www.financedigest.com/offbeat-thought-process-to-turn-the-tide-in-favor-of-self-adhesive-label-market.html "Offbeat Thought-Process To Turn The Tide In Favor Of Self Adhesive Label Market"). The authentic women I’m inspired by know what they want and what they don’t want; they know what makes them uncomfortable; they know their own strengths and respect their passions. They [value their time](https://www.financedigest.com/automotive-timing-chain-and-belt-market-to-be-valued-at-us-10-20-bn-by-2027-comprehensive-research-report-by-fmi.html "Automotive Timing Chain and Belt Market to be valued at US$ 10.20 Bn by 2027 – Comprehensive Research Report by FMI"). Authentic women choose to do what they love, and consistently commit to [acting in keeping with their values](https://www.financedigest.com/four-ways-impact-acts-as-a-source-of-value-for-startups-and-investors.html "Four ways impact acts as a source of value for startups and investors"). **What do you want?** To live authentically requires courage; self-respect; the ability to be honest with yourself, and to accept constructive feedback. It’s one [thing to be authentic when you’re](https://www.financedigest.com/ten-things-youre-doing-that-are-invalidating-your-car-insurance.html "TEN THINGS YOU’RE DOING THAT ARE INVALIDATING YOUR CAR INSURANCE") relaxed, but when there’s external pressure to change, or sacrifice your principles (particularly if it advances your career) it gets significantly harder. But, when you live authentically, you stand up for what you believe in, and in doing so you [invest in your future](https://www.financedigest.com/investing-in-the-city-thats-investing-in-itself-welcome-to-the-liverpool-of-the-future.html "INVESTING IN THE CITY THAT’S INVESTING IN ITSELF – WELCOME TO THE LIVERPOOL OF THE FUTURE!  ") power, happiness and influence. So…. **Prioritise**: Learning experiences, self-reflection, listening to feedback **Commit**: To your personal growth. Emotional intelligence (EQ) and Caring Intelligence (CQ) are crucial parts of authentic leadership, and developing your ability to self-monitor appropriately will allow you to communicate your [thoughts and feelings as you choose](https://www.financedigest.com/choosing-to-challenge-thoughts-on-international-womens-day-2021.html "Choosing to Challenge – Thoughts on International Women’s Day 2021"). Not all thoughts are created equal, and self control is part of expression. **Grab a pen**: Give yourself five minutes. Imagine that your most authentic self walks into the room and sits down opposite you. Remember that you can be your most authentic self at any time, as and when you [see fit](https://www.financedigest.com/portugal-pm-welcomes-lufthansas-interest-in-tap-scholz-sees-good-fit.html "Portugal PM welcomes Lufthansa’s interest in TAP, Scholz sees good fit"). How do they look? What do they want to say; What have they stopped themselves from saying? What do they want to do next? Authentic leaders are needed now more than ever. Actively work at being one. --- This blog is powered by Superblog. Visit https://superblog.ai to know more. ---